my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
