its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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