I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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