he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
