I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
