did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
