Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
