planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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