First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
