Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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