My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
