hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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