im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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