Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
