I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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