You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
