You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
