Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
