She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
