i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
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just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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