Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
