Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
