I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize