Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
