Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
