u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
