he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
