The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
