How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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