i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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