too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
