We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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