Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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