Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize