Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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