operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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