who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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