My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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