I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
