O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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