im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
