shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
