Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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