She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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