so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
