she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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