I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
