There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
