I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
