My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
