all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
