and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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