My cat gives me a boner
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Boobs speak an international language.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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