the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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