I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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