Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
