Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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