what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
