idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
