this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
