He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
