I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
