They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
