ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize