Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
